so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
