apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
