btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
