Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
