How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
