just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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