Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize