You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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