Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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