how can u be prego again
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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