we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
