Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
