Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So here I am, sexting at work.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
