She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
