At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I could fuck to npr.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
