yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he puts the penis in happiness.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
