so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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