Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
