Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
