He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
