i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She's the barista slut.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
