Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
