ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
