He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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