I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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