Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize