Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
