Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
