Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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