How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
