Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
