Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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