Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
love makes seman taste better
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
