How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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