Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize