I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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