and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
