i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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