Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
