So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
