Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
