do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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