Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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