At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
