There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
