Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
