If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
