just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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