She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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