shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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