i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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