I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
