i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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