Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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