remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
