you guys were way drunker than both of me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
