Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
