My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
40s are totally the cure
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
