The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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