So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
