oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
