When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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